Origin Of A Horror Icon – Part 2: Michael Myers *Contains Spoilers*

Many fans felt that Jason Goes to Hell scored an own goal by barely featuring Jason in it. At least Jason was still the killer though, even if he was unrecognisable and missing his trademark hockey mask for most of the film.

Halloween III: The Season of the Witch went one step further. They removed Michael Myers as the killer and included something about killer masks that may have proven to be a good film if anyone bothered to watch it.

This wasn’t a decision made by the studio, instead it was the wish of John Carpenter himself. He didn’t want a slew of Michael Myers films, and only agreed to have any involvement in the third film if it would not be a direct sequel to Halloween II. After pissing off their fan base by removing the only bankable asset of the growing franchise and giving it a title that had nothing to do with the plot, The Shape was brought back “from the dead” for the imaginatively titled The Return of Michael Myers…and piss the fans off in a completely new and inventive way.

John Carpenter: Master of Sequels

Like the previous films, Michael is after his living family members, this time represented by his niece. Insulting as it is that Michael is outsmarted by a child for The Return of Michael Myers and follow-up The Revenge of Michael Myers, they humiliate him further by first arresting then throwing him in jail. Although proven to be an indestructible killing machine, Michael appears to be incredibly respectful of the law. By the end of number 6 The Curse of Michael Myers, it’s evident the filmmakers didn’t respect anyone.

Donald Pleasence’s Dr Loomis hit the nail on the head when he described Myers as the embodiment of evil. Who cared where Michael got his inhuman abilities from? Well, the writers of The Curse of Michael Myers it would seem as it turns out;

“Michael has been under the influence of evil representing an ancient rune symbol called Thorn, that druid astronomers claimed was originated from a constellation of stars that appear from time to time on Halloween night. It is an ancient Druid curse that represented a demon that spread sickness and caused destruction among druid tribes. In order to prevent this, each tribe had to inflict the curse on one child, so each child could offer the blood sacrifice of its next of kin on the night of Samhain (Halloween); a motivation of why Michael is trying to kill his family”.

The phrase what and the utter fuck? springs to mind. It gets worse when it is revealed that Michael’s been hanging around with some cult that are planning on harnessing his evil by genetically engineering babies making mini Michael Myers for some sort of zombie army. This is the equivalent of the producers performing bukkake onto the cinema goers. Might seem appealing on paper but it’s only going to get messy.

It’s awful, so awful in fact that when Halloween H2O is released they retcon the story so that Michael has been merely “missing” from the end of the 2nd film enabling them to remove the bastard storyline and in effect remove 4 films from the series.

But don’t worry, they haven’t stopped there. Now that 3D is certain to squeeze some extra money from the punters, why not have a Halloween 3D? Plot, director, script? Who cares, it’s in 3D, and 3D films cost us extra to go see!

It’s so real I can almost feel Hollywood fucking me in the ass.

Thomas Simpson
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  1. Pingback: Halloween | moviescramble

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